“कुछ रिश्तों का नमक ही दूरी होता है
ना मिलना भी बहुत ज़रूरी होता है "
“The salt for some relations is the distance
Not meeting is also very important "
This song has been written from the perspective of the lover, however this line can be interpreted in 2 ways
- Written from the perspective of a narrator : A practical trial by fire for a relationship. Distance and not meeting the one of you love can act as the medium that allows you to test the power of your love.
- Written from the perspective of the lover : A way of self-consoling. For a lover who has not seen their beloved for a very very long time, this line can act as a way to tell yourself that whatever is happening right now is also necessary.
“दम दम, दम दम तू मेरा दम दम,
दम दम मेरा हरदम दम,
दम दम तू मेरादम दम,
दम दम मेरा हरदम दम, दम दम”
“Breath, breath, breath, breath, you are my every breath”
“तू बात करे या ना मुझसे
चाहे आँखों का पैग़ाम ना ले
पर ये मत कहना, अरे ओ पगले
मुझे देख ना तू, मेरा नाम ना ले”
“You talk to me or you don’t,
If you want, don’t take the message of my eyes
But don’t say this, O crazy
Don’t you look at me, don’t take my name”
Is this what unconditional love looks like? Where the actions of the other person are blanketed by your love for them, and just looking at them and taking their name fills you with an abyss of joy. The actions, or the inactions of the one you love don’t fade away, they don’t become invisible to you. However, your love and your actions in love become blind to theirs. The unconditionality of your love overpowers everything else. Love becomes a process and you enjoy every bit of it, without an eye for the destination.
Love is in my opinion is always one sided. Your love for someone cannot depend on their love for you. The day your love is dependant on something, it becomes a transaction. What should be two sided is a relationship, a friendship or however that loves manifests itself. However the pure emotion and feeling of love, always, is one sided.
There is a Sufi song written by a sufi saint, Sheikh Farid, which was adapted by AR Rahman in the famous song Nadaan Parindey. AR Rahman’s version goes like :
“Kaaga re kaaga re more itni hai araj tau se chun chun khaayio maas,
Arajiya re khaayio na tu naina more, khaayio naa tu naina mohey piya ke milan ki aas”
"”O crow, I have this one request from you that you can eat every inch of my flesh,
O dear, please dont eat my eyes, i hope to see my love one day”
Love is low maintenance, rarely demanding. Love is pure and simple. The sight of your love can fulfil you for your whole life and you can tirelessly dance to the symphony your heart plays every time you see them.
तुझसे मेरा दीन धरम है मुझसे तेरी खुदाई
तुझसे मेरा दीन धरम हैमुझसे तेरी खुदाई”
“From you is my way of life, my religion and from me is your prayer.”
How can one express the intensity of their love? What can I say or do that tells the other person that my love for them holds no bounds? The only words that can be said that can explain the intensity of someone’s love, at the risk of sounding dramatic, is you are my God, you are my life and I am willing to die for you.
“तू बोले तो बन जाऊँ मैं बुल्ले शाह सौदाई
मैं भी नाचूँ, मैं भी नाचूँ मनाऊँ सोणे यार को
चलूँ मैं तेरी राह बुलेया
मैं भी नाचूँ रिझाऊँ सोणे यार को करूँ न परवाह बुलेया”
“If you tell me, I will become Bulleh Shah Saudahi
I will also dance, I will dance, I will convince my love
I will walk your path, Bulleya (referring to Bulleh Shah)
I will dance, I will charm my love, I don’t care (about the world), bulleya””
Bulleh Shah Saudahi (aka Bulleya) was a 17th century sufi poet. His reference here is because Bulleh Shah was in deep spiritual love with his teacher. However, his teacher was of a lower caste and hence Bulleh shah abandoned him. This angered the teacher and he left. Soon after, Bulleh shah realised what he had done, left everything behind, and followed his teacher in his love for him.
Back then, when dancing was considered a shameful act, Bullesh Shah danced with transgenders to destroy caste hierarchies and portray his love. He danced for 12 straight hours, only stopping when his teacher forgave him.
The lover here, like Bulleh Shah in his effort to convince and win back his lover, is trying to say this to convey the fact that he is willing to go to any lengths, including dancing endlessly in his love until he is forgiven. One thing to note here is, he is not dancing only to be forgiven, but dancing in the memories of the one he loves fills him with joy and he can keep dancing forever.
“माना अपना इश्क़ अधूरा
दिल ना इसपे शर्मिंदा है
पूरा हो के खत्म हुआ सब
जो है आधा वो ही ज़िंदा है”
“Agreed that our love is incomplete
But my heart is not in despair
Whatever is completed gets over
Only what is incomplete, remains alive”
The lover, continuing to console himself for his incomplete love story says : Everything that gets completed, gets over. However the only thing that stays alive is what is incomplete, and is yet to run its full course. In his mind and heart, there is a lot left in their love story and he cannot accept the fact that this was it and that it is over. Denial or Hope? Both maybe? Or maybe Faith? We will never know. Once love becomes bound by someone else’s actions and their reception of your love, it erases emotional boundaries and becomes a soup of all one can feel, negative and positive.
“हो बैठी रहती है उम्मीदें
तेरे घर की दहलीज़ों पे
जिसकी न परवाज़ खत्म हो
दिल ये मेरा वही परिंदा है”
“Hopes continues to sit
On the entrance of your home
My heart is that bird
Whose flight is unending”
This is a beautiful stanza that explains the difference between hope and faith. The lover says how he has hopes from his love, and his hopes are waiting for her outside her home. However, his heart is a bird that has unending and tireless flight. Various ways to interpret this but in my opinion, it is to tell how since he has no control over the actions of the one he loves, he can only hope. However, he has full faith in his love and how it is endless, boundless, unconditional and shall keep on flying no matter if his hopes are fulfilled or not.
“बख्शे तू जो प्यार से मुझको
तो हो मेरी रिहाई
बख्शे तू जो प्यार से मुझको
तो हो मेरी रिहाई”
“When you forgive me with love,
Is only when I shall become free”
The lover stating how he is bounded by the mistakes he has made and how forgiveness shall set him free. He is not bound by love, but his actions (or lack of them). He is bounded by how the love had manifested itself and he is ashamed of it. The lover drowns in sorrow of hurting the one he loves, and his freedom now depends on the forgiveness.
In its pure form, this is beautiful. The two souls intertwine and dissolve any individuality. However in the current world, this can become very dangerous. As said earlier, it is important to retain your identity and SELF. The idea of pure and unconditional love is beautiful, however can be extremey hurtful if not followed to its entirety and can throw you tangetially into a bottomless pit of pain. Hence, it is important to always retain the control on your emotions, and never allowing your self identity and self image to be dependant on someone else’s image of you.
“तू बोले तो बन जाऊँ मैं बुल्ले शाह सौदाई
मैं भी नाचूँ मैं भी नाचूँ मनाऊँ सोणे यार को
चलूँ मैं तेरी राह बुलेया
मैं भी नाचूँ रिझाऊँ सोणे यार को
करूँ न परवाह बुलेया
मेरा हर दम दम हर दम तू
मेरा हर दम दम हर दम तू
मेरा हर दम दम हर दम तू
मेरा हर दम तू
तू याद करे या ना मुझको
मेरे जीने में अंदाज़ तेरा
सर आँखों पर हैं तेरी नाराज़ी
मेरी हार में है कोई राज़ तेरा”
“You miss me or not
My life has your style and influence
I have kept your heartbreak on a pedestal
And my defeat holds a secret of yours”
Unconditionality steps in again. The lover says how regardless of if she misses him or not, his life shall always have a part of her. Her heartbreak is a part of his mind and eyes, and is always reflected in them. His defeats shall have a secret, the heartbreak that she had to go through. Her heartbreak is his defeat.
I believe that he is able to live with these emotions as long as he is thinking them. If ever she says any of this to him, its going to completely break him. The reason being that his identity is attached to what she thinks of him. If she ever tells him that she continues to hurt because of him or that she never misses him or thinks of him, he is going to break inside, because of all the hopes he has attached to her.
Pure love is free, pure love is liberation. Pure love can never be a kite whose threads are tethered to hope. Pure love is unconditional and faithful.
“शायद मेरी जान का सदका माँगे तेरी जुदाई
शायद मेरी जान का सदका माँगे तेरी जुदाई”
“Maybe the distance between us asks for the sacrifice of my life
Maybe the distance between us asks for the sacrifice of my life”
The most painful, yet the most heartfelt line of the whole long. The lover now has come to an acceptance where he is okay with sacrificing his life, if that is what it takes for her to come and see him.
“Kehte hain meri jannat jaane ki baari yawm ad-din aaegi Lekin mujhe toh jannat ussi din naseeb ho jaaegi Jab woh mere janaaze pe mujhe dekhne aaegi”
“It is said that my turn to go to heaven will come on the day of judgement
However I will go to heaven that day itself
When she comes to visit me on my funeral”
People say the craziest things in love. Are they always true? Do they always mean it? We shall never know. However what we do know is if love is pure and unconditional, then no words can ever begin to explain the feeling of it.
The lover is now willing to sacrifice himself just to see her one last time. But what if she doesn’t come? Is his sacrifice in vain? Even though the lover knows this possibility, he shall never speak of it. He cannot live with even a remote chance of this happening and in case this actually happens, death is just sweet release from all the delusion he has drowned himself in.
“तू बोले तो बन जाऊँ मैं बुल्ले शाह सौदाई
मैं भी नाचूँ मैं भी नाचूँ मनाऊँ सोणे यार को
चलूँ मैं तेरी राह बुलेया
मैं भी नाचूँ रिझाऊँ सोणे यार को
करूँ न परवाह बुलेया
मेरा हर दम दम हर दम तूमेरा हर दम दम हर दम तूमेरा हर दम दम हर दम तूमेरा हर दम तूमेरा महरम तू, मरहम तूमेरा हर दम दम हर दम तूमेरा हर दम दम हर दम तूमेरा हर दम तू
कुछ रिश्तों का नमक ही दूरी होता हैना मिलना भी बहुत ज़रूरी होता है”
Repeatition, The End